mammal playtime

2004-10-07T00:44:00.000-05:00

New Job.......again!

I have another new job! and it's in my field!!
i got to be in the darkroom today and it was excellent, i'm actually still good at that.
amazing since it's been so long.
so now i have a couple jobs, so less of a social life.
which means i'm missing mo rocca tomorrow night! sucks!
not only is he adorable, but how are my roomate and i going to fight over him if she's the only one who gets to go?
dude, he has an english lit degree from harvard. hot.
oh well, time to make some money. and less of a social life is good cuz lately i just want to punch people. and everyones going out of town this weekend, so i get some nice alone time.

heard from the frequency today. tours going good, except they've been playing with shit bands. i researched the opening band tonight (somewhere in idaho?) and they suck. i dont want to mention names because i dont want to make them feel bad, but it was awful.
apparently thats not the only place they have to endure shitty music. my strange brothers been going on some cheesy pop music kick and cranking it while driving the van.
the dork and i decided we support this and want to drive around and dance in the van to cheesy pop music.
and now they're off to canada, where they will have to do some research for me.
i just decided i'm moving there.

2004-10-06T00:33:00.000-05:00

SUNDAY WAS ACTUALLY TWO WEEKS LONG

it's taken a little while, but i'm going to try to write about it. there was a lot to process.

PART 1:
get up, get dressed, brunch.
the ladies and i ventured down to saint ex where paulie made us a ridiculous pitcher of bloody mary. we were all drunk by 2. which was weird for me since i had just woken up and when i went to bed i was drunk. an hour of sobriety leaves me a little confused. but we dealt with it well by walking home through the park and doing lots of photo shoots. we were really tempted to go swimming in the fountains but decided the water was too murky. the only near-accident was ivy slipping on some mud. she escaped unscathed. i tried to hypnotize liz with cuteness, but she is too accustomed to that shit.

PART 2:
laundry! i amazingly accomplished cleaning my room just enough to be happy and doing laundry while becoming sober and getting nervous. the dork has some really great pic's of our pre-show excitedness. maybe she'll post something. i still don't know how. i had to take a couple breaks and some really deep breaths during this time. then caroline came with the beer and i did a fashion show and we played with accessories. this is a great activity to do whenever feeling anxious. beer and accessories. takes your mind off so much.

PART 3:
killers/ambulance.
omg.
we got to 9:30 pretty early and headed to the downstairs bar for some beer and a bathroom break. i ran into some people i know from shooting the j. johnson show and from asylum. then i decided i needed to do a lap to ease my mind. good timing! ran into m. shortly thereafter and had a brief conversation. we were both being very junior high (shuffling, looking at feet, etc..) it was cute. then me and the girls went to get drunk. obviously.
okay, long section of the night in a short little synopsis:
we got drunk. we watched a norwegian girl in a spandex catsuit. to which m. had remarked "touring is fun, but they're strange. i mean, they're from norway and she wears a spandex catsuit."
we watched ambulance in a really crowded spot. i felt strange. i was found (or at least i think so, but just let my girly mind think so) and swooned a bit.
i went backstage. i had more drinks. i played catch-up and kissyface. i went on the balcony. i got mean death stares from little girls (back off you bitches!). i watched the killers and danced with m. and played more kissyface. i had a sorta mean joke played on me by an as yet unknown culprit. i had a super-fast goodbye.
the goodbye sucked. i guess it always does. so no more next time. not for me, i am done torturing myself. not that it's been that bad, but i can only imagine it gets worse.
so that's it. great show. good memories of the show. good memories of m. done.
PART 3:
my roomate gets soooo drunk!!!!
i mean, wasted.
wasted enough that we end up downtown with DB for entirely too long and have to get in a fight on the walk home. not to say i wasnt pretty drunk myself and all of that is her fault, not at all. just saying that it's been a really long time since i've seen her that out of it. i somehow ended up with a pack of marlboro reds, a hot pocket, and some toilet paper. needless to say, i was left un-supervised and while this should be the end of the night, it most definitely is not.
PART 4:
i cant believe this goes on so long!
the vampire has re-entered my life. i have the bruises to prove it.
i'm not kidding: bite marks, bruises, the works.
i'm elated. joyous. confused.
i mean, i've been trying to get back together with the shithead for weeks, and he decides that now is a good time? granted, i fucked it up last time. and i really do want to try again, but he also needs to stop torturing me. i was so happy he was actually here that i couldnt even try to bring up my long needed apology. i hardly spoke at all i was so nervous about saying the wrong thing. not to mention it had been a really long night.
this sucks because if he wanted to get back together, this would be something i would take very seriously. i've been kicking myself for almost 6 months for f'ing that up, and i've never been able to get him off my mind. so the possibility of having him back in my life is crazy and scary and wonderful.
maybe i should try to express this?

so, i don't know what time zone you live in, but that is why sunday was actually two weeks long.

2004-10-03T18:38:00.000-05:00

alright, showtime.

and i cleaned my room.

and i'm getting drunk again.

so things should be good.

all of you who cant be there, be on call. and cross your fingers.

2004-10-03T00:23:00.000-05:00

wedding over!

and it was sorta fun.
in a strange way.

so, now i get to concentrate on other things. like working, which is something i have to do in order to make money, which i have none of. or relationships, which apparently i've been neglecting. or cleaning, you should just come look at my room.

and now that it's over i have plenty of time to worry about the show tomorrow night. as i'm sure some of you would like to know, i did call. and no, the person i called is not with them, although very sweet. and no, i have no idea what i'm going to wear. i have been in a prom dress that slid off my boobs all night, i have no time to think about that shit!

all i want is to have a song sung to me again (oh spoiled!), make out a bit and have a great fucking night with someone who is awesome and leaving the next day. i dont have to worry about it that way. and no pre-conceived notions that this would turn into a relationship. thats great. and honestly, i'll be disappointed if it doesnt work out that way. which sucks, but it's totally a possibility.

however, no matter how my personal life turns out...i will be having fun and rocking out to some amazing music with some chicks i love being around. so all in all -- win/win situation.

apparently my life is pretty good.

2004-10-01T02:44:00.001-05:00

MY LOVELIES

i love you. even when i'm drunk and dont know better.

i had my first night at asylum tonight. i fucking love that place. apparently right now i love anyplace. but really, i do love that place. i love it cuz it's a random biker bar that's been around for ages, and i don't know anyone but i still get to flirt with my ex-boyfriend. i mean, ages ago ex, but still. love him. love everyone. here's what i'm looking forward to: waking up in six hours and cleaning my room. also laundry is a must. pretending to be sober during rehearsal dinner, wedding, etc..., because there is no way i'm getting through this shit if i'm not wasted. not to mention the fact that my dress is entirely toooooooo big and therefore i must be wasted cuz i dont want to remember that shit falling off.

*in other news*
av - i have no tickets for you. but you're cute with your messages and shit.
dork - i apologize for always being awake and drunk when you have to go to work. that shit sucks.

but i'm excited still for the end of this weekend. omg, do you even want to know what that dress looks like? thank fucking god i dont have a date. he would never even look at me again. sooo matronly. and ridiculous. back to the point though, the end of the weekend. everyone just cross your fucking fingers that this ends well. i mean, i guesss i could be nervous. but i'm too caught up with the wedding bullshit to even think about it. let's just say that i hope i get to spend a little time with a cute boy who happens to be passing through. and after hearing everyones relationship bullshit at work tonight, i'm overly excited about boys who go on tour. please, leave town.

2004-09-29T02:46:00.000-05:00

MY DORK IS THE BEST!

I just came home from work and my apartment is clean. I heart megadork.
Not only because she becomes restless and cleans, but it was a really nice surprise after a shitty night of work. I think I really have to quit now. When your boss gets wasted and says (in a fake british accent, nonetheless) "you are a very sexy woman" and you laugh that off nervously but then he comes back and says "can i hold you for a minute?", then it's time to go. *end of run on sentence*
but now i have rent!!! oh, decisions.
so, i missed the french kicks tonight, which totally sucks. even though i had forgotten they were even playing. and i also missed watching seb play with wierd war. but that's ok cuz i dont like them. but i do like seb and he's been gone for a while, so that would have been nice. working at night is strange.
oh well, at least the apartment is clean! and now i get to go to sleep in it.
yay!

2004-09-28T13:53:00.000-05:00

five dollars short of rent. exactly. so, if i dont spend any money until the first, then i can pay rent and maybe a bill, or maybe eat. which is something i keep forgetting to do. but maybe i'll be okay, because i'm working! yay! after my surprise 6 days off, i'm back on schedule! which in one sense sucks, because this place is my own little version of hell, but on the good side i wont be lying in bed feeling sorry for myself all night. because that's what i did all morning and that shit gets old. and why feel sorry for myself? because it's impossible to get a job in my field? because in the upcoming wedding i'm in, i'm the only bridesmaid not in a serious relationship? because i've seriously been acting like a drug addict? no dammit, i'm working for the next three days straight, i get to hang out with some friends from high school, i dont like dates because i like dancing by myself anyways, and this weekend is jam packed with fun-ness! first a rehearsal dinner which will be incredibly uncomfortable but i get to go with my best friends so we can laugh about it later, then the crafty bastards show, which could be fun and also i get to torture the boy who felt it necessary to freak out and break up with me after two dates, then a wedding where i get to wear an awful, unflattering dress, but who cares cuz i'm not trying to impress my date anyways. there is a light at the end of this tunnel, which is the killers/ambulance show. any suggestions on what to say to JA when i call ambulance the day before this show? am i photographing this show? at least i know that this will be a fun night, even if i dont get to run away to new york.

2004-09-24T01:56:00.000-05:00

lost boys

i have heard, and i'm not even kidding, "i'm just lonely and confused" from two different boys TONIGHT. and the amount of times i've heard " i just want someone to curl up with" in the past couple of weeks is astounding. who the fuck do you think i am?

2004-09-23T01:38:00.000-05:00

it seems as though i have quite a bit of free time on my hands.
so.....here are some updates!

jobs: suck. i am getting really good at quitting them. actually, it's a really gratifying feeling. i used to think that if i just stuck around long enough things would always get better. well, enough of that i say! if they're not good now, then fuck off! i am in a perpetual job hunt stage, and someday this will all be worth it. at least we can hope. and by *we* i mean all of us. seriously, keep your fingers crossed for me.

men: are fun. and sometimes gross. and usually messy. and have a special smell. i fall in love way too easily, but i bounce back like a champ. so bring that shit on! (i'm being very honest and also lying through my teeth. let's get married and have babies.)

public transportation: takes too long. let's walk.

robots: incredibly amusing. i am actually staring at a robo baby right now. it has eyes like a bug. and responds to your love and care. anyone want to love and care for it? it's starting to creep me out.

ninjas: are mammals.

friends: you love em, you hate em, sometimes you need a break. right now i'm really into meeting new people. which usually goes like this -- i get excited and hyper and therefore wasted. i get friendster messages from people i dont know telling me it was nice sharing their seat with me at the bar. am i still checking friendster? yes, i am. it's nice that my friends don't hate me for this ridiculuos behavior. love em!

more men: i actually did meet one in particular. i like him. i don't know if he likes me. he has cool toys, but some scary paintings. my entire upper body fits perfectly in his torso. i am in a perpetual "what does that mean?" stage, and someday this will all be worth it. at least we can hope. and by *we* i mean all of us. seriously, keep your fingers crossed for me. just kidding, bring that shit on!

rock stars: are rock stars. shit.

VH1: keeps me amused for hours. thank you! i didnt need to do my website anyways! or scan that shit!

freelancing: rocks, but pays shit. sorry ted kennedy, tonight was pop's 57th birthday dinner. i passed on the shoot in order to go to my moms, drink red wine and speak spanish while eating something similar to thanksgiving dinner with my jewish family.

tired now. sleep.

2004-06-24T16:49:00.000-05:00

dress to get screwed.... or just for craziness

saturday began with a journey into megs room. she was trying to sleep in, but i was hungry and it was a beautiful day out. so instead of letting her rest, i bribed her with breakfast. we went to our fave brunch place where they have absolutely the best potatoes. and there are some of you out there who know how important that is to me. after brunch i sat around the house and played dress-up, while throngs of neighbors with children gathered outside my door for the alley party. i was having a moment of awkward shyness, so stayed inside and watched a weird katie holmes movie until meg came home from shopping. i finally got her to accompany me outside so we could drink free beer and listen to the old-man-hippie-jam band. she promptly fell down the stairs and it is debatable as to whether or not she will ever fully recover. her back is a nasty shade of purple - we're trying to get the pic's to upload. then kelly came over and we hid inside and got ready for the HT's at fort reno.

fort reno was awesome. and only slightly confusing. most of the confusion was caused by urban yoga and goblins. only some was caused by the current crush who apparently refers to me as his girlfriend, but can only sit next to me for a limited amount of time. i question the 'girlfriend' thing - i have suspicions regarding his intentions. however, he's wonderful and we'll get to that later, or possibly never.
the ht's did really good, and it was wonderful watching them while sitting in the grass making daisy chains. i had nostalgic memories of fort reno from when i was quite a bit younger, and this show was definitely a favorite. the fatales were cute, the carlsonics sounded tight. there was supposed to be an after party with the carlsonics after the show, but that fell through due to the boy breaking plans with me, and the lack of free beer at this after party. so instead, the girls and i headed home to put on hotfits (which only kelly succeeded in actually doing). we stopped by a party near chez hobart with the city paper crew, and then jumped in a cab to the dress to get screwed party.

cab rides were interesting sat. night. there was always someone else in there, or we had to jump out after half a block. at least there was no yelling and no one threw up.

when we approached the haunted mansion there were already people spilling onto the street. i went inside to look for the crush and some beer, kelly went to the dance floor, and meg went to the bathroom for the first of many times that evening. i found the beer and then realized i had tons of missed calls from the crush, so i once again disappeared to make some phone calls. he decided to come and be a little awkward near me, and then there was some confusion involving bobby. the rest of the evening is a bit of a blur. there was a sink on the floor of the bathroom, a couch maze and more confusing phone calls. finally we decided to leave, and while standing on the corner looking for yet another cab, sebby and crew decide to show up. wrestling mania ensues and we all hop into cabs back to chez hobart. meg and i couldnt hang that long, as i had to wake up in three hours and she was stoned. and there was a sleeping bobby on the couch, which made me feel bad for having the mini party.

so the night ended entirely too late, with me begging meg and sebby to leave me asleep at the bus stop. i really thought i couldnt make it any farther. but i struggled through it, made it home, and woke up two hours later to shoot a wedding with mom. remarkable.

(missed the ff show (crap!), but meg got me a great present so yesterday i wore them in my pants)

2004-06-23T11:05:00.000-05:00

uh huh

crazy crazy crazy. the perfect way to describe all of last weekends madness would be to post the message i got from kelly on sunday morning. basically, the message was: "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god." my roomate (who may be moving out to join an assisted living group soon) and i had (of course) decided to take it easy. friday night there was an early rei zou show at dc9, which i was incredibly excited for. excited not only because i love watching my boy(friend)(?) be a rock star, but rei zou happens to be one of my favorite bands in the world. the show was great, even though my favorite maraca player quit the week before. good job, rei zou! they've finally gotten their shit together and started practicing on a regular basis. it definitely shows. after that show meg and i went to the black cat for the mc5 show. i didnt stay upstairs long, as liz c. and an 80's dance party were waiting for me, but it was pretty good. after getting incredibly sweaty dancing to 80's brit pop, i had to take some phone calls. while on the phone with the boy discussing our scheduling conflicts and being drunk and standing alone on the corner of the street, my friends decided to take action and just go to his house. which was incredibly hilarious, but at the time made me so mad i had to yell at them in a loud voice. good idea on their part though, because i got to have kissyface time and whiskey shots!

this will have to be continued, as my cripply roomie just called to say "i'm doing bad today" and it's my day off and i actually have to get some stuff done.
as i've decided to start blogging again, i will try to explain what i can remember of saturday later.

2004-06-07T00:53:00.000-05:00

well. i missed the unicorns, but it's cool. i got to hang out with my soon-to-be sister-in-law instead. which is great, because i havent seen her since they got engaged. i am hugely impressed with my brother for the amazing job he did with the ring, and the proposal. and basically everything. they are lucky. we drank champagne, watched the sopranos and the cosby show, and talked shit about the fam. normal, but really fun! i am now home and kinda drunk and trying to call my ex, who is actually with my brother in chicago right now. and not answering his phone (good thing). i love the unicorns, and this is now my public apology to them for missing the show. but i actually saw them earlier. little shrimpie - stop being a perv and checking me out on the street.

2004-06-02T00:14:00.000-05:00

NEW BLOG?????

shit. i'm back i guess. although there's not much to tell at this point. i won't bitch about how tired i am, or how hard i'm working. i definitely wont bitch about anyone i'm into, as i'm sure he can google this site. so it might be pretty boring. this is just to let y'all know that i'm still alive. avram can confirm this as he definitely made me laugh so hard that beer came out my nose very recently. all i can say is: the photo stuff is going well, the men are confusing but we love them (well, him at least) anyways, and i need to quit my stupid job. i will begin writing again when i its not so late and i have not had a bottle of wine. i have no idea when that will be.

2004-04-06T12:53:00.000-05:00

goodbye disco, hello mammal playtime!

2004-04-06T12:40:00.000-05:00

Brood X

this is gonna be a short one, but hopefully informative.
Brood X involves three different species of cicadas.
They emerge every 17 years for a period of 6-8 weeks, in enormous droves.
at the end of spring they will emerge from the ground and crawl upward - onto anything not moving.
they will hang out for about two weeks until their predators are satiated.
the remaining cicadas will then begin to mate, the male dying as soon as the process is over, the female laying her eggs in a branch before keeling over.
when the eggs hatch they will fall to the ground and burrow a couple feet, where they will remain for another 17 years.
brilliant!

so meg (and anyone else who may be terrified of the coming summer), pack your bags and head out west!

2004-04-02T16:08:00.000-05:00

i think i may have previously mentioned that i am on a great mission in middle earth. and somewhat of a hobbit. who's comin' with me??

You're The Fellowship of the Ring!

by J.R.R. Tolkien

Facing great adversity, you have decided that your only choice is to
unite with your friends and neighbors. You have been subject to a ton of squabbling and
ultimately decided that someone humble is your best candidate for a dangerous mission.
You're quite good with languages and convinced that not all who wander are lost. If you
see anyone in black robes on horseback, just run. That's just common sense.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

2004-04-02T15:22:00.000-05:00

i give up

obviously, i was not meant to have a 9-5 job.
*reasons i have had to leave normal jobs*
1. creepy old men
2. sexual harassment
3. bitchy women

i mean!
so, two paychecks left and it's back to pounding the pavement.
and ya, antonio says he's gonna look for something else, but i'm not holding my breath for him anymore. rishi recommends manpower, for anyone who might be looking to temp, but c'mon. i'm over it. and at least give me the courtesy of two weeks notice. and at least acknowledge that you've given me an end date. and at least acknowledge the amount of times you havent shown up. and at least admit that it's a little personal.

*other things i am over*
1. ignoring facts
2. gossip
3. communication over technology
4. weird boys who expect sympathy

on a happier note, columnist greg ceton who writes for the city paper, is a very nice guy with good taste and likes to return emails promptly. he will be adding rei zou to his 'must see' list and is much in favor of my booking for velvet. now, if we can only get chris back from costa rica so i could start. where does a girl have to go to get paid for going to rock shows and drinking too much?

2004-04-01T16:37:00.000-05:00

even better smog!

2004-04-01T12:47:00.000-05:00

cigarette and cigarette and cigarettes, etc....

rock and roll hell is the only way to describe so many of the strange occurences from last night.

*excerpt from conversation*
boy - i'm really giving in bed, but nothing enhances self - pleasure like pornography. it's really dangerous to have digital cable on demand.
me - you're nice. i need a break.
boy - we'll talk later (while touching my arm!)

cheif ikes should be really happy with the hipster turnout. rei zou really is everybodys favorite band. definitely they are ac's favorite band. i mean, they're amazing. why can't they play every weekend? weird war is just that - weird and seemingly at war. however, liz and meg are working on a sociology project re: their selling of extreme amounts of merch. so we might have to go to another show. which means we might have to stay out really late. and maybe even walk home in the pouring rain again.

see you in hell, kingpin!

today it is still raining, therefore i have a headache.
it is a good day to be thinky, and that is making the headache worse.
i would like to be home in my bed, talking to rishi and liz crow on the phone, listening to the tindersticks, and some smog, eating soup.

2004-03-31T10:20:00.000-05:00

a little history for y'all!

on march 31, 1991, the warsaw pact was ended.
lets read up!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warsaw_Pact

(*ed. note* - excuse my weird links, for some reason when i do it the right way, they don't publish)

2004-03-30T13:23:00.000-05:00

Zoning

i made the statement last night that we would all be learning about the taxi zoning in dc today. this was before i attempted to make sense of any of the maps available to the public. somewhere, i am sure, there is a map of dc with the zoning clearly outlined and the streets all named. they are hiding this from us so we don't argue our fares. if you have not noticed, the fares are really inconsistent. not unlike some people i know. but i don't have to pay them for this, and it is therefore much easier to understand.

anyways, here you go.

http://dctaxi.dc.gov/dctaxi/cwp/view,a,1187,q,487966,dctaxiNav,|30625|.asp

2004-03-30T12:36:00.000-05:00

Last Night

if you were not one of the indie-rockers in dc at the show last night (which would be hard to believe), then here is what you missed:
1. tall dudes
2. zombie bartenders
3. sweatiness
4. bad sound people (surprise!) and lots of feedback
5. the warlock
6. Kip from the Panthers being talky (also surprise!)
7. aggression
8. bitchiness

i'm actually a little upset that i chose the downstairs arena and ignored all the good rock happening upstairs. meg had it right to run around, when we got home we listened to the killers cd she bought and i was pissed.

not only did the downstairs sell out, the red room was insanely packed. i ended up listening to most of tv on the radio while sitting at the bar talking to the warlock. apparently, the multiple personalities of pri have been around for quite some time. the theory on this is that he is actually an extreme introvert who does this in order to talk to people. i'm not sure if i agree with this theory, but i am curious as to who i'm speaking with most of the time. we also concluded that my ex might not be entirely a bad person, but definitely has sociopathic tendencies. i did not get to discuss my dream from the previous night, as there was a momentary disruption in the orbit of our planet and my better half was not to be found. i am still really curious about the name thing.

the evening ended with extremely unfounded hostility from liz crow.
wonderful.

2004-03-29T13:36:00.000-05:00

strange dreaminess

have decided to ignore all meanies in life.
good decision!
have also decided to take the plunge with my spiritual better half in a ceremony most certainly not recognized by law. not sure if he remembers this, but it sounds really fun. and at the party afterwords liz c. will be my flower girl and ms. casablancas will head the rice-throwing committee.
however, i may have had an omen re: this fun celebration of our non-sexual (yet?) union.
i had an extremely contradictory dream last night in which we walked around with a bird we had together. the bird was uncaged and delightful and there was a general happy feeling. this obviously has positive meanings. weird thing is, the whole time we were walking around he was calling me by a boys name.
after having discussed this dream with him, he has mentioned that he has quite a few theories, but was unwilling to discuss as he was running very late for work.
i scheduled a meeting for later, which will have to occur sometime between the Panthers and TV on the Radio.
i am going to do more research in order to prepared to argue any theories i do not agree with.
i am really excited for this show! and much less overwhelmed now that i am not trying to scamper all over the Cat in order to view five good bands all at once.
i have now officially been waiting half an hour for my boss to call me so i can ask a question that will take 5 seconds.

2004-03-24T16:07:00.000-05:00

FUTURE

i am now against thinking about the future.
if anyone has read meg's blog today, they will have probably played the internet MASH game. i am against this game being played over the internet. this is a great game for late-night bar time with girls. this is not a good game for i'm-supposed-to-be-working-time. mainly i am against this game because no matter what number i entered, or how many times i played, the internet is against johnny depp.
internet, i've been so nice to you lately! don't i deserve a little in return? why do you keep hooking me up with ex-boyfriends? i have to write them down, i don't know five boys i want to marry in real life. and anyways, the way we play, i only have to think of four.
and no matter how many times i put outer space as a location i would like to live, that also remains elusive. i think this says a lot about bush's new space program. mr. president, this is a sign. give up on mars, the internet does not want us living there.
however, if they land here, i am getting on that ship.

2004-03-23T13:15:00.000-05:00

Palmetto Bug/American Cockroach Information
*as it is best to be well-informed of your enemy*

American Roach Habitat:
American cockroaches generally live in moist areas, but can survive in dry areas if they have access to water. They prefer warm temperatures around 84 degrees Fahrenheit and do not tolerate cold temperatures. In residential areas, these cockroaches live in basements, around pipes and sewers, and may move outdoors into yards during warm weather. These cockroaches are common in basements, crawl spaces, cracks and crevices of porches, foundations, and walkways adjacent to buildings. Many times, the American cockroach can be found under decks, under mulching materials, inside hollow block construction, or in any cool and damp area. Because of their fondness for sewers, large populations of American cockroaches will be seen in many cities after heavy rains or flooding. They may feed on a wide variety of plant and animal material.

American Cockroach Life Cycle:
Females produce egg cases and carry them protruding from the tip of the abdomen for about two days. Egg cases are then generally placed on a surface in a hidden location. The female may glue the egg case to the side of a structure or interior wall of a basement. These egg cases may sometimes be found lying loosed in mulched flower beds and compost piles. Egg cases are 3/8 inch long, brown, and purse shaped. Immature cockroaches emerge from egg cases in 6 to 8 weeks. The nymphs require 6 to 12 months to mature. Adult cockroaches can live up to one year, during which females produce an average of 150 young.

American Roach Control:
Pest Control Products for American Roaches

Due to the large size and slow development of American cockroaches, large infestations of these insects are not common within houses. However, during certain times of the year, these cockroaches may move inside a house from outside sources. For example, in winter these cockroaches may move indoors, seeking warmer temperatures and food. Cockroaches may enter houses via sewer connections, under doors, around utility pipes, air ducts, or other openings in the foundation. Cockroach populations in basements can be reduced by decreasing dampness and applying insecticides in cracks and crevices where there is evidence of cockroach activity (presence of egg cases, dead cockroaches, brown fecal smears).
Use Delta Dust in cracks and crevices; spray exterior of structure and selected indoor areas with Suspend SC or Demon WP. Use the same procedures as you would when eliminating Smokybrown roach infestations.

2004-03-23T13:07:00.000-05:00

Bug Update
so the thing crawling around my apartment is actually a palmetto bug, which is basically a really big cockroach with wings.
someone on the internet has written a little rhyme for them.
internet guy, you rock!

Palmetto bugs, palmetto bugs
Skulkin' 'round like tiny thugs
Got some the size of area rugs
I'm talkin' 'bout palmetto bugs.

On spiky legs they climb my walls
Listening out for my footfalls
Antennas wave long-distance calls
To kinfolk rustling down the hall.

Palmetto bugs, palmetto bugs
Cleaning wings and looking smug
Makin' love in coffee mugs
I'm livin' with palmetto bugs

Brown eggs and turds in every drawer
I don't think I can take no more
They laugh and scuttle 'cross my floor
I'm buying Raid, declarin' war.

Palmetto bugs, palmetto bugs
Crawl up my neck and give me hugs
My neighbors say I'm doing drugs
But it's just them palmetto bugs.

2004-03-23T09:35:00.000-05:00

damn bugs!
Last night, Meg and I were eating a lovely dinner which I had just made and watching a movie when I heard a slight rustling from the kitchen. Looking up, I noticed something moving over the stove area. Upon closer research, I discovered the biggest cockroach I have seen since I was in Cuba.
We proceeded to scream and do the girly-bug-jump-dance, Meg being extremely frightened and me being extremely angry.
I'm not kidding, this thing was two inches long.
We are very clean.
We do not leave food out or dishes in the sink for very long.
We have only lived there for two weeks.
An email will be sent shortly demanding the extermination of these disgusting bugs, I don't care how long it takes or where we have to sleep.
*roach behavior*
-Roaches are mainly nocturnal creatures, coming out in the daylight only when disturbed or when there is an extremely large infestation. (thank goodness - no roaches in the daylight yet)
-They eat human and non-human food, spreading disease through fecal matter, the most common disease being salmonella
-They have little hairs on them which can detect movement, thereby making them very hard to catch
-They run really really really fast.

2004-03-22T12:36:00.000-05:00

Stop with the IM's
I have been thinking for a while that im'ing is not a suitable means of communication. I have done some research to back this up.
so, stop im'ing stupid little conversations. either send an email or pick up the goddam phone. and learn to make plans.
some sociological research:
Do these gender differences in communication and relationship styles hold for computer-mediated communication as well? Do women embrace computers as a new means of connecting to others? If so, we may expect more use of the Internet for communication by women than men, and more expressive communication by women, and more instrumental communication by men. On the other hand, the technological features of email may somehow interfere with women's expressive communication style. Some studies indicate that the text-based communication format of email makes it less suitable for maintaining personal relationships than face-to-face communication or the phone (Cummings, Butler, & Kraut, 2001; Walther, 1996). Other studies suggest that email is especially suitable for management and coordination of activities, not for personal relationships (Sproull & Kiesler, 1986). That is, the text-based format of email may facilitate an instrumental communication style more commonly associated with men.

2004-03-22T09:17:00.000-05:00

On the topic of Squirrels:
I have always been a little frightened of squirrels. This is due to the fact that I have witnessed one literally attacking a friends poor little sibling. So, in the interest of embracing my fears, I did some research. My results lead me to believe that we should ignore the squirrels and instead be terrified of groundhogs. Which, thankfully, stay mainly underground.

*Small rodents (such as squirrels, rats, mice, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils, and chipmunks, ) and lagomorphs (such as rabbits and hares) are almost never found to be infected with rabies and have not been known to cause rabies among humans in the United States. Bites by these animals are usually not considered a risk of rabies unless the animal was sick or behaving in any unusual manner and rabies is widespread in your area. However, from 1985 through 1994, woodchucks accounted for 86% of the 368 cases of rabies among rodents reported to CDC. Woodchucks or groundhogs (Marmota monax) are the only rodents that may be frequently submitted to state health department because of a suspicion of rabies. In all cases involving rodents, the state or local health department should be consulted before a decision is made to initiate postexposure prophylaxis (PEP).*

Thank you, CDC.

2004-03-19T17:36:00.000-05:00

i'm sorry. i am down on my knees begging forgiveness. i promise from now on not to take you for granted or neglect you in any way. i appreciate all that you do for me, i have learned so much from you. you have never lied to me, or done anything mean. you never pressure me or ask too much, thank you for your patience and constant understanding.
i apologize for being so distracted recently. i will try to write every day. and i know it's no excuse, but i have no walls. and i just moved. and relationships have been weird.
but i should be telling you this rather than acting passive aggressive towards you. you have been the best relationship, you never let me down.
from now on, things will be different. i will not be unfaithful (unless, perhaps, that little dictionary enters the picture). i return your unconditional love and will henceforth act accordingly.

2004-02-19T21:50:00.000-05:00

on the subject of: "men are for shit"
- I had a really wonderful valentines day. only because i originally referred to it as "saturday", which is the more common term for that day of the week. it was great. i got to make out with a cute boy all morning, hang out with my girlfriends, drink champagne, go to a fun party and make out with the same cute boy all night. i mean, when can you beat that? however, men are still for shit. the confusing bastards. i am currently losing one of my favorite people to the vortex named emotional manipulation. i myself am in the "what does that mean?" stage, which is not unlike the sexy face stage during touch screen strip poker. you keep thinking that you have a winning hand and this will get you past the frustrating stage where you get to look at the face but get no real satisfaction. but no, the game is rigged. the face is cute, but where is the naked body???

*ed. note* cute boy is im'ing me. i am opposed to im's they only make the "what does this mean? stage worse! however, he is telling me about free internet encyclopedias, which redeems him a little.

On the subject of: "mars"
- thank god, mars will be leaving my 12th house. things are looking up. i think i previously mentioned that the planets will perfectly align beginning in march. well, apparently i was right. meg, thank you for the informative updates.

On the subject of: "this weekend"
- every day this week my horoscope has mentioned my weekend. i am either in for a big surprise or a huge letdown. hmmm, which one could it be? well, considering last night i thought i had kissyface plans, and this morning they turned into - i'm going to atlantic city - plans, i'm basically prepared for either. not that it matters, i'm just going to get drunk and do something ridiculous anyways. which means i'll have fun, even if i'm hyper-sensitive and emotional. which i will be because i just got my period. yay.

on the subject of: "living with your parents"
- i am moving out! i told my father this, to which he responded, "well, i guess you had to become a responsible, independent adult at some point." ya, i guess i did.

on the subject of: "house parties"
- there have been a lot of really fun ones, and it really is where all the hipsters in dc are hanging out. and we throw really good illegal keg stand mini dance parties. and apparently that keg lasts forever.

on the subject of: "ex-boyfriends"
- mine emailed me. i wrote him back. i cried while i did it. at my desk. and he has not found my mittens. which also makes me sad.

2004-02-14T18:21:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentines Day Lover's!!
*kisses and spanks*

2004-02-10T11:42:00.000-05:00

i am psychic. this is wierd and it needs to stop!

2004-02-08T22:02:00.000-05:00

well, i survived. but only barely. my seven days were up and i'm still here! i think i'll change my desktop image from the ring to something a little less terrifying now.
*things i figured out over the weekend*
1. vampires are great
2. the planets will be in alignment again in march
3. intellectual property makes for great conversation
4. i can stay awake for hours and still function almost like a normal little mammal
5. it is really hard to get a cab in columbia heights at 4 in the morning
6. it is important to keep your gas tank above empty
7. empty laundromats are great places to make out
8. breaking into buildings is a great idea for a psuedo first date
9. it is sexy to talk about ways to kill each other
10. second chances can happen over and over again
11. on my planet, everything works out

2004-02-07T12:08:00.000-05:00

what do you even say about this?

2004-02-06T16:57:00.000-05:00

vampire?

2004-02-06T16:50:00.000-05:00

"I really do hope that we can still talk occasionally, but the ball is in your court." - boy

FYI: i only play fantasy war games, therefore i have no ball.

2004-02-06T15:54:00.000-05:00

right now i am wishing my life were a civil war drama. if that was the case then our men wouldnt simply be absent, they would be battling their way home to us, and writing really sweet letters. tragedies like that are supposed to bring people together. i feel that my toxic twin and i have had substantial tragedies recently, and all the men are in retreat.

2004-02-06T10:14:00.000-05:00

Hilarious!
I love our ridiculous entertainment world. and "wardrobe malfunction" is a phrase that will soon be integrated into our everyday vocabulary, i'm sure. i am not understanding the attention poor janet is getting. i only recently started wearing bras at all, for work purposes, and have no qualms with nipples. they're cute, we should embrace their existence.

2004-02-06T09:26:00.000-05:00

it is 9:30 am. i am @ work. nobody else is here. what is going on?

2004-02-05T22:16:00.000-05:00

welcome back princess!

alright. a lot has happened. where to even begin? first off, i'd like to assure all my worried robot friends that i'm fine. the thunderstorms have stopped and i have resumed communication with the rover. we have obliterated all alien life forms and life is beginning to resume it's normal cycle on my little planet. i use the word normal while laughing hysterically. i have, however, joined the working force. complete with my own desk and computer and voice mail and fun little office supplies. it's amusing because the people who hired me seem to think i've had a real 9 - 5 in the past six years. i get responsibilities! tomorrow i have to talk to toys'r'us! and at some point i'm going to be making some conference calls. that boggles my mind.
this is all fun and amusing, but definitely not as interesting as last night when i very publicly went through about every emotion mammals are capable of. i have to say though, i think i recover pretty gracefully. having a complete panic attack in the middle of adams morgan, in front of the ex-boyfriend, is possibly not the sanest way to act....but gaining composure and saying goodbye in a way that will definitely drive him a little crazy makes it a little less embarrasing. and i probably wouldnt have even been embarrassed if he had'nt of kept wanting to take me to the hospital. and what fun is breaking up if you cant milk it for all the drama?
*ed. note - for future reference: anyone who thinks they might want to try breaking up with me in the future, you have been warned. i will probably stop breathing at some point. please please please do not repeatedly ask me if my heart is okay. it just makes things worse.*
long story short: panic attack, cried while walking down the street alone, hung out at my brothers house (who is absolutely my favorite person), met liz (favorite honorary sibling)at the raven, kissed really cute boy!
FYI - kissing really cute boys after being broken up with for reasons having nothing to do with you rself will put a smile on your face for days.
i am now being kicked off the computer. oh internet, i have been so neglectful. i promise i will stop letting less interesting people distract me and give you the attention you deserve.
*kisses*

2004-01-30T16:03:00.000-05:00

i know i havent blogged in a while and this is not going to be a long one.
reasons:
1. i am employed!
2. i dont have my own desk yet
3. i needed to stop being depressing

*memo to boys in general*
i am highly perceptive and definitely not an idiot. stop acting wierd. and leave the little pills in a spot where we can find them!

2004-01-26T17:56:00.000-05:00

before you left you said "baby, i have had you on my mind for three months, i would'nt do anything to fuck this up, you have nothing to worry about." right now i am trying not to think of the scoop in your shoulder, your smile when you get really excited, your arms. right now i havent eaten or slept in two days.

2004-01-26T01:39:00.000-05:00

nothing is important, nothing matters. everything is important, everything matters.

2004-01-25T12:37:00.000-05:00

*things to do while on a break from a person you love*
1. wear really short skirts and look hot
2. cry openly in dive bars
3. be drunk and awake, because sleeping is scary
4. lose a lot of weight
5. when you do sleep, do so with the light on

what is a break? it's not breaking up, but it's definitely not being together. it's simultaneously wanting to throw things and wrap yourself up in the other person. it makes you crazy. you should definitely hide the telephone. having the telephone around will make you call, and when you call you have nothing to say. and what should you say? it's not your fault you feel like shit. but you're trying not to hate because he's still your boyfriend. you make an excellent team and you're not about to give that up. but you have given the ball over. nothing is in your court. this team sucks.

2004-01-22T01:55:00.000-05:00

*breaking news*
-mars has a magnetic energy field, is not really red, and thunderstorms recently interrupted scientific investigations.
-gin and tonics give me sneeze attacks

2004-01-20T14:43:00.000-05:00

*synopsis of weekend events*

friday: welcome back from mars! apparently, the planets have resumed their appropriate positions in the universe and the men are slowly but surely coming back to earth. unfortunately for P, the decent began while sitting uncomfortably close to another couple, making relationship discussions especially difficult.

satur-day: yay tea parties! and pornographic playing cards!
satur-night: motherbitches, put some clothes on - it's january! yay frequency! yay grampa boozy!

sunday: thank god for tom brady and clean kitchens. david cross - i totally agree with your views on the colonization of the moon. i also think you should marry my friend liz. P - we have really fun dates, even when packed in like sardines. you're sweet for always holding my hand.

monday: bravo to me for not panicking during my first experience with a male up close and personal doctor. and for remaining sane during family dinner time. and for not having nightmares after watching cabin fever.

today: am one step closer to having a job!

*short film review*
if for nothing else, watch cabin fever for the dvd extras. and the professor of being a dog line. we love eli roth and desperately want to be included in david lynchs inner circle. and the rotten fruit really are the best band in the world.

2004-01-16T15:40:00.000-05:00

in my dream last night i had a $47 sundae. delicious!

2004-01-16T14:24:00.000-05:00

y'know, being so hard to find now, this could be the perfect time for a quick getaway. if only it werent so goddamn cold outside! if this were the summer, i would not in any way be opposed to some real low budget travel. i'm more than willing to camp my way to LA. unfortunately, i have a strange syndrome that doesnt allow me to bend my fingers when they get too cold. actually, it's not that strange. it was even on the front of the health section of the post the other day. i was hoping the article would link the syndrome to the strange little red dots that've been popping up all over my body, but alas, they are still a mystery. there seem to be lots of mysteries lately. such as: what kind of plant is that?, when does winter end?, where should i go with my boyfriend tonight?, why do people participate in embarrassing reality shows?, why do i have so much time on my hands? lets get back to the important question. where do i go with my boyfriend tonight? he's apparently left this decision up to me, which i guess is ok considering he has to pay for everything. the problem is, we live in a city where we've already exhausted all the possibilities. it's too small! and it's too cold to be creative with plans. i think building a fort and hiding could be the best idea.
if i'm still here!

2004-01-16T12:53:00.000-05:00

Surprise! my cell phone got cut off!! this will be an interesting experiment. i used to function just fine in this world without constantly being connected....can i do it again? are there even still pay phones? what if i have an emergency? does anyone even have land lines anymore? how will i survive???? i feel like i should move to a ranch in montana and grow all my own food and walk the sixteen miles to my neighbors house if i need to borrow a cup of milk. damn you, at&t!

2004-01-15T15:25:00.000-05:00

spiky ugly plant
blossoming in the winter time
what the hell are you?

my plant is a mystery. it has yet to introduce itself to me in it's proper name. it tortures me by refusing to die, yet becoming so withered that it continually forces me to save it's life. and then all of a sudden - pink flowers! three pink flowers of the upside-down variety that blossom for a week in january and then inexplicably fall off. i am enticed to see if they ever show up again.

i need an adventure. i realized today that i am quite familiar with public transportation in new york and dc. i would like to be proficient in the workings of public transportation all over the world. europe? asia? how do they work? what kind of schedules do they run on? i, of course, have no way of funding this research. my desire to get out of town is being dampened by my more realistic need for a job. {reality, i never invited you to my party. get out!} my apparent inablity to aquire aforementioned "job" is only feeding my desire to get out of town. ah, it is a vicious cycle.

things that make me want to run away: no job (fuck money!), relationship problems (just be honest with me!), living with my parents (this of course, i knew would make me want to run away, as it did when i was 9, 12, 14 yrs. old), stupid people i am forced to interact with socially (just don't talk to me!)

and besides, what would i do with my mysterious plant? i am more committed to it than anything else in my life (not by choice), and it is getting to big to travel with.

2004-01-14T11:52:00.000-05:00

My horoscope today (courtesy of the washington post):
A temptation to sever a friendship or a group association may come up, but it will pass. Don't act unless you've been planning this for a long time.

what Mrs. Saunders, who writes these horoscopes, doesnt know is that i am currently speaking to two people. If i were to sever either of those ties, i would officially go insane. Right now i am only slightly out-of-control. I am not willing to go that extra step. Also, at this point i have no group. well, at least a really small one. And we are acting as free agents. For a long time we have been playing fantasy war games and winning. now, i'm not so sure.

people I want in my new group: John Waters, Jason Bateman, Boyfriend (come back to my group!! Damnit!), liz c., meg, liz r., rishi, Antonio (at this point i will whore myself out for that job), mo rocca, michael ian black, the frequency, coop minus new girlfriend, clarke (my boyfriend needs a playmate).

lets go over the daily schedule of an unemployed hobbit. i use the term hobbit because frodo has my haircut, and in my head i am on a great adventure that will change the course of history in middle earth. this schedule is very loose. sometimes there is not even a schedule.
10:30 - wake up
10:35 - try to go back to sleep
10:40 - stop fighting and get out of bed because you have to pee
10:45 to 11:45 - drink coffee, smoke cigarette, read comics and do crossword puzzle. this can be dangerous to the rest of your day because if you are unable to finish crossword puzzle you may be angry with yourself. and yourself is the only person you have to hang out with at this point.
12:00 to whenever - crochet a little, play piano a little, play with internet a little, play any other games you can invent, watch bad daytime television, maybe go to a hockey game, get drunk, talk on the phone a lot, sleep. get ready for tomorrows activities!

*on the topic that men are for shit: we have decided to do an ongoing investigation into this. new research shows that men in general react strangely to the month of january. we will be investigating the lunar cycle and alignment of planets. we will yell at whoever necessary!

last night in my dream i ate crickets. according to dreammoods.com, "to see crickets in your dream represents introspection. you are seeking guidance." I bit their heads off! this is exciting!

2004-01-13T11:06:00.000-05:00

I had a dream last night that I was living with five midget nuns in South America. Apparently this means I have been feeling small and insignificant and there will soon be a change in course in regards to my purity and obedience. Interesting.

memo to:
Supreme Ruler of Jerkfaces (aka: temp guy)
*I have been patient {for two weeks!!!}. I have been offered a position. Why am I not working? I realize that you may be overworked and stressed out, but unfortunately I am forced to go through you. I need to start my job, please do yours.

memo to:
Little Darlings
*it is important to have fun while young and beautiful. If there are people in your life who are preventing this, they can no longer be in your group.

memo to:
Boyfriend
*Yes, I slept over last night. Yes, things are still a little wierd.

2004-01-12T17:11:00.000-05:00

lets blame it on the pms gnomes!
things that make me feel better:
*sleeping with the light on
*practicing classical piano on cheesy keyboard, which sounds like shit but is still relaxing
*Joan of Arc "so much staying alive and lovelessness"
new schedule for the evening:
*pick out cute outfit
*curse period
*have dinner with cute, sweet, yet distant boyfriend
*have meeting with friends re: whether or not to sleep at confused boyfriends house

2004-01-12T14:24:00.000-05:00

lets do a quick review. i have been on a really big break for a couple of months, which is about to end. The break started when i made the decision to move back to dc from ny.

why i made this decision: ny hates me.

within a three week period my boss tried to get me really drunk and sleep with me, which luckily did not pan out for him but caused me to have to work a lot less; i was robbed at a bar and then my empty purse was held for ransom. my cell phone and keys were recovered....wierdness that can only happen to me in strange neighborhoods of brooklyn; upon returning home from work one day i found a dead man on my front stairs, who remained there for 3 1/2 hours forcing me to get drunk and cry outside my apartment because ambulances do not take dead people and apparently the morgue had a waiting list; and to top it all off my car was stolen! therefore - really big break!

i now live in dc with my parents, which is interesting to say the least. i became really motivated when i got back and decided to start my own photography business, which started out really well. i then discovered that clients will do anything to avoid paying for this service, which led to my decision that i hate people and needed a real job. actually, i had a couple real jobs on the side, all of which i had to quit because of shadiness, unwillingness to pay (of course) and wierd old man crushes. fun. not only do i hate people, but i've spent the past 4 years being a photographer and at this point havent shot in months, not counting the rock and roll shows.
interesting thing is, all of this has been really positive and mainly i've been able to be optimistic.

which leads me to be reminded of a conversation i had with one of my best friends at a bar last winter. we were discussing the interesting fact that one can be in their early to mid-twenties, motivated and responsible, talented and happy....and when you throw in a relationship everything gets twisted around. maybe it was just the bitter cold, or the really drunk guy attempting to talk to us in a very slurred manner, but i think she made a good point. how are we supposed to manage the attempt to be a successful, independent person and a relationship? especially if you want to have kids before you're 45. i realize that it is possible to adopt, be a single mother, and lots of other options....but personally, i like the whole meaningful relationship part of it. and i'm way too out of control to ever do that without live-in help. perhaps liz c. is right in wanting a mail order russian bride. i'm sure that lot's of people don't have this problem. unfortunately, i'm not one of them. realizing that i'm at the stage where i really do need to become a responsible adult and all of these issues become real is really overwhelming and makes me want to take lot's of anti-anxiety medication. and i am a smart, talented person who just got a great job, has wonderful friends and a great boyfriend.

point is: what brought this all on is the fact that great boyfriend went away for a vacation, where he was abducted by aliens who ate his body and sent their leader back in his place. this has led to me taking little pills with wine, not eating for extended periods of time, and sleeping with the light on.

or it's all just brought on by me getting my stupid period and being really pms'y. who knows? i'm sure we'll find out.

2004-01-09T14:11:00.000-05:00

the floor did not cave in, thank god! however, my friends and i did. i do not remember taking any shots.

things i remember about new years include: sushi and dancing at chez hobart, arriving at the velvet lounge and being handed a schlitz, briefly dancing with coop (shit is hot!), meg puking on someones front steps, almost falling and having to point out my incredibly high and uncomfortable heels to boy who was laughing at me, psychotically calling boy on vacation (luckily he thinks that's cute), searching for microchip and referencing ben affleck, girl who hates me for no reason making me leave party by staring at the bow on my sexy shirt which i had made earlier therefore making me notice that bow was messed up and giving me a minor panic attack, liz crow crying and ripping off her self-made sexy shirt in a dramatic conclusion to the evening.

Things I remember about new years day: waking up way too early, watching mtv and becoming very hungry (thank you, ludicrous, for suggesting chicken), eating popeyes, watching approximately ten hours of I love the 80's!, going out to eat more, watching horrible gwyneth movie.
gwyneth, what were you thinking? michael ian and mo - you make it worthwhile to sit on the couch all day. Hal - you have still not redeemed yourself and are forcing me to share mo with meg.

Things that have happened in the new year: boy has come home from vacation and decided to be really wierd although still fun and an excellent cook. boy has also decided to break thumb rendering him strugglefest. I have gotten a job! yay! I am extremely excited about this as I will be making almost as much in an hour as I have gotten used to spending in a day. Money! yay! also - there is a dinasour in the lobby. there has been a full moon which forced me to cry while washing the dishes. meg turned 24 and nobody threw up. there was a cute indie rock boy at the bar last night who i was swooning over, but then he spoke to us which led to me dreaming about being attacked by zombies. wonderful boyfriend saved me from zombies. i am taking everything as a sign.

2003-12-29T15:05:00.000-05:00

the gnomes are at it again. the reckless creatures are causing havoc in my life. they are preventing me from accessing the website where i want to find a job, they have broken my dryer and they are making my boyfriend be jerkface. they are also responsible for my crappy new years plans and my inability to buy a new dress for the occasion. i'm sure they will be there too, hanging out with the indie rockers and breaking glass. let's just hope the floor doesnt cave in.