New Job.......again!

I have another new job! and it's in my field!!
i got to be in the darkroom today and it was excellent, i'm actually still good at that.
amazing since it's been so long.
so now i have a couple jobs, so less of a social life.
which means i'm missing mo rocca tomorrow night! sucks!
not only is he adorable, but how are my roomate and i going to fight over him if she's the only one who gets to go?
dude, he has an english lit degree from harvard. hot.
oh well, time to make some money. and less of a social life is good cuz lately i just want to punch people. and everyones going out of town this weekend, so i get some nice alone time.

heard from the frequency today. tours going good, except they've been playing with shit bands. i researched the opening band tonight (somewhere in idaho?) and they suck. i dont want to mention names because i dont want to make them feel bad, but it was awful.
apparently thats not the only place they have to endure shitty music. my strange brothers been going on some cheesy pop music kick and cranking it while driving the van.
the dork and i decided we support this and want to drive around and dance in the van to cheesy pop music.
and now they're off to canada, where they will have to do some research for me.
i just decided i'm moving there.

SUNDAY WAS ACTUALLY TWO WEEKS LONG

it's taken a little while, but i'm going to try to write about it. there was a lot to process.

PART 1:
get up, get dressed, brunch.
the ladies and i ventured down to saint ex where paulie made us a ridiculous pitcher of bloody mary. we were all drunk by 2. which was weird for me since i had just woken up and when i went to bed i was drunk. an hour of sobriety leaves me a little confused. but we dealt with it well by walking home through the park and doing lots of photo shoots. we were really tempted to go swimming in the fountains but decided the water was too murky. the only near-accident was ivy slipping on some mud. she escaped unscathed. i tried to hypnotize liz with cuteness, but she is too accustomed to that shit.

PART 2:
laundry! i amazingly accomplished cleaning my room just enough to be happy and doing laundry while becoming sober and getting nervous. the dork has some really great pic's of our pre-show excitedness. maybe she'll post something. i still don't know how. i had to take a couple breaks and some really deep breaths during this time. then caroline came with the beer and i did a fashion show and we played with accessories. this is a great activity to do whenever feeling anxious. beer and accessories. takes your mind off so much.

PART 3:
killers/ambulance.
omg.
we got to 9:30 pretty early and headed to the downstairs bar for some beer and a bathroom break. i ran into some people i know from shooting the j. johnson show and from asylum. then i decided i needed to do a lap to ease my mind. good timing! ran into m. shortly thereafter and had a brief conversation. we were both being very junior high (shuffling, looking at feet, etc..) it was cute. then me and the girls went to get drunk. obviously.
okay, long section of the night in a short little synopsis:
we got drunk. we watched a norwegian girl in a spandex catsuit. to which m. had remarked "touring is fun, but they're strange. i mean, they're from norway and she wears a spandex catsuit."
we watched ambulance in a really crowded spot. i felt strange. i was found (or at least i think so, but just let my girly mind think so) and swooned a bit.
i went backstage. i had more drinks. i played catch-up and kissyface. i went on the balcony. i got mean death stares from little girls (back off you bitches!). i watched the killers and danced with m. and played more kissyface. i had a sorta mean joke played on me by an as yet unknown culprit. i had a super-fast goodbye.
the goodbye sucked. i guess it always does. so no more next time. not for me, i am done torturing myself. not that it's been that bad, but i can only imagine it gets worse.
so that's it. great show. good memories of the show. good memories of m. done.
PART 3:
my roomate gets soooo drunk!!!!
i mean, wasted.
wasted enough that we end up downtown with DB for entirely too long and have to get in a fight on the walk home. not to say i wasnt pretty drunk myself and all of that is her fault, not at all. just saying that it's been a really long time since i've seen her that out of it. i somehow ended up with a pack of marlboro reds, a hot pocket, and some toilet paper. needless to say, i was left un-supervised and while this should be the end of the night, it most definitely is not.
PART 4:
i cant believe this goes on so long!
the vampire has re-entered my life. i have the bruises to prove it.
i'm not kidding: bite marks, bruises, the works.
i'm elated. joyous. confused.
i mean, i've been trying to get back together with the shithead for weeks, and he decides that now is a good time? granted, i fucked it up last time. and i really do want to try again, but he also needs to stop torturing me. i was so happy he was actually here that i couldnt even try to bring up my long needed apology. i hardly spoke at all i was so nervous about saying the wrong thing. not to mention it had been a really long night.
this sucks because if he wanted to get back together, this would be something i would take very seriously. i've been kicking myself for almost 6 months for f'ing that up, and i've never been able to get him off my mind. so the possibility of having him back in my life is crazy and scary and wonderful.
maybe i should try to express this?

so, i don't know what time zone you live in, but that is why sunday was actually two weeks long.

alright, showtime.

and i cleaned my room.

and i'm getting drunk again.

so things should be good.

all of you who cant be there, be on call. and cross your fingers.

wedding over!

and it was sorta fun.
in a strange way.

so, now i get to concentrate on other things. like working, which is something i have to do in order to make money, which i have none of. or relationships, which apparently i've been neglecting. or cleaning, you should just come look at my room.

and now that it's over i have plenty of time to worry about the show tomorrow night. as i'm sure some of you would like to know, i did call. and no, the person i called is not with them, although very sweet. and no, i have no idea what i'm going to wear. i have been in a prom dress that slid off my boobs all night, i have no time to think about that shit!

all i want is to have a song sung to me again (oh spoiled!), make out a bit and have a great fucking night with someone who is awesome and leaving the next day. i dont have to worry about it that way. and no pre-conceived notions that this would turn into a relationship. thats great. and honestly, i'll be disappointed if it doesnt work out that way. which sucks, but it's totally a possibility.

however, no matter how my personal life turns out...i will be having fun and rocking out to some amazing music with some chicks i love being around. so all in all -- win/win situation.

apparently my life is pretty good.

MY LOVELIES

i love you. even when i'm drunk and dont know better.

i had my first night at asylum tonight. i fucking love that place. apparently right now i love anyplace. but really, i do love that place. i love it cuz it's a random biker bar that's been around for ages, and i don't know anyone but i still get to flirt with my ex-boyfriend. i mean, ages ago ex, but still. love him. love everyone. here's what i'm looking forward to: waking up in six hours and cleaning my room. also laundry is a must. pretending to be sober during rehearsal dinner, wedding, etc..., because there is no way i'm getting through this shit if i'm not wasted. not to mention the fact that my dress is entirely toooooooo big and therefore i must be wasted cuz i dont want to remember that shit falling off.

*in other news*
av - i have no tickets for you. but you're cute with your messages and shit.
dork - i apologize for always being awake and drunk when you have to go to work. that shit sucks.

but i'm excited still for the end of this weekend. omg, do you even want to know what that dress looks like? thank fucking god i dont have a date. he would never even look at me again. sooo matronly. and ridiculous. back to the point though, the end of the weekend. everyone just cross your fucking fingers that this ends well. i mean, i guesss i could be nervous. but i'm too caught up with the wedding bullshit to even think about it. let's just say that i hope i get to spend a little time with a cute boy who happens to be passing through. and after hearing everyones relationship bullshit at work tonight, i'm overly excited about boys who go on tour. please, leave town.

MY DORK IS THE BEST!

I just came home from work and my apartment is clean. I heart megadork.
Not only because she becomes restless and cleans, but it was a really nice surprise after a shitty night of work. I think I really have to quit now. When your boss gets wasted and says (in a fake british accent, nonetheless) "you are a very sexy woman" and you laugh that off nervously but then he comes back and says "can i hold you for a minute?", then it's time to go. *end of run on sentence*
but now i have rent!!! oh, decisions.
so, i missed the french kicks tonight, which totally sucks. even though i had forgotten they were even playing. and i also missed watching seb play with wierd war. but that's ok cuz i dont like them. but i do like seb and he's been gone for a while, so that would have been nice. working at night is strange.
oh well, at least the apartment is clean! and now i get to go to sleep in it.
yay!

five dollars short of rent. exactly. so, if i dont spend any money until the first, then i can pay rent and maybe a bill, or maybe eat. which is something i keep forgetting to do. but maybe i'll be okay, because i'm working! yay! after my surprise 6 days off, i'm back on schedule! which in one sense sucks, because this place is my own little version of hell, but on the good side i wont be lying in bed feeling sorry for myself all night. because that's what i did all morning and that shit gets old. and why feel sorry for myself? because it's impossible to get a job in my field? because in the upcoming wedding i'm in, i'm the only bridesmaid not in a serious relationship? because i've seriously been acting like a drug addict? no dammit, i'm working for the next three days straight, i get to hang out with some friends from high school, i dont like dates because i like dancing by myself anyways, and this weekend is jam packed with fun-ness! first a rehearsal dinner which will be incredibly uncomfortable but i get to go with my best friends so we can laugh about it later, then the crafty bastards show, which could be fun and also i get to torture the boy who felt it necessary to freak out and break up with me after two dates, then a wedding where i get to wear an awful, unflattering dress, but who cares cuz i'm not trying to impress my date anyways. there is a light at the end of this tunnel, which is the killers/ambulance show. any suggestions on what to say to JA when i call ambulance the day before this show? am i photographing this show? at least i know that this will be a fun night, even if i dont get to run away to new york.

lost boys

i have heard, and i'm not even kidding, "i'm just lonely and confused" from two different boys TONIGHT. and the amount of times i've heard " i just want someone to curl up with" in the past couple of weeks is astounding. who the fuck do you think i am?